ONLY FOR YOU DEAR.

Even if no one can hear you, I guess it's a good idea to put things on paper, or in a blog, because sometimes, there are things that you can't tell to anyone. Whether a happy moments, or sad, or any other emotions, just write it down, so that it is easier to sort through your thoughts. So what if nobody pays attention. 

WHO CARES ? at least you're able to express yourself. It's hard to keep things just to yourself alone. 

Yes you have your FRIENDS, but what if it's all about them ? 

So yeah. this whole thing is about that. About Friends. Well just one Friend. & it drives me crazy because I can't tell this to anyone. Okay. I hate her. I really do. But she's my friend so what can I do ?! Call me PLASTIC or whatever, but I just really hate her NOW. I don't know what went wrong. I just woke up one day starting to hate her because of every little thing she does. I don't have guts to talk to her because she's my friend. She's one of my CLOSEST friend. :( Alright, I know I should talk to her right now instead of ranting here, but I just can't. For some reason, I CAN'T :'(  

Well I have my reasons. NO. She gave me reasons !

1. She LIED to me for so many times. Just a simple lies, but helooo ? What is wrong ? What is wrong with her ! She keeps on making excuses. & what's worse  ? She keep on lying even though I already know the truth. It's okay if she doesn't want me around. It's okay if she doesn't want my presence. I'm perfectly fine with that ! Just tell the truth. Just say it straight to my face. 

( So now I realized why I can't talk to her about this stuff. Because I learned it from her.  I learned from the MASTER. )

Now we're both GREAT PRETENDERS. PLASTIC. FAKE. Name it. That's who we are right now.

FAKE FRIENDS.

2. Just because you now have your so called "LOVELIFE" , doesn't mean that you need to abandon your friends. Okay ? & to support this theory, go back to number 1. DO NOT LIE.

3. ATTENTION SEEKER.

In a very annoying way.  God. She's not like this before. What happened. ?

- EVERYTHING CHANGES. So do you.

4. DRAMA QUEEN. 

ME: 

I should include this to number 3, but hell no, I want a separate number for this one, because she's such a drama queen NOW. I thought twas only me, but I guess someone stole my crown. Well at least I'm making sense to my stories, AND, I know where & when to be such a drama queen. But to her ? Gosh. 

She's such a PRO !

 Okay friend. I get it. You have your problems, & you need a friend to talk to, & seek advice, or just simply someone who will listen. But you don't have to repeat that for like 100 times, & don't be so paranoid to think that EVERY situation is a sign for you, whether to go or not. Not everything is about you. You have your problems. I have mine. WE ALL HAVE PROBLEMS. okay ?

5. "Where the hell are you when I needed a FRIEND."

I'm always there for you. When you need help, when you need someone to talk to, when you feel like you're such a mess. I'm right there beside you . Comforting you. Texting you. Reminding you. 

BEING A FRIEND TO YOU. You know that. 

But where the hell are you when I needed a friend ? You should know when I'm upset, sad, frustrated, disappointed. You should know that because WE'RE FRIENDS. But I guess I'm the only one who does. I'm not asking for anything in return whenever I helped you, but come on. Can you just be a friend to me ? :(

6. Go back to number 1 up to number 5. Because that's what happens all the time. 

It's like a routine. a perfect routine !

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I may be a bad friend for hating  A FRIEND of mine. But I realized, being too NICE gets you nowhere.

In the end, only few will stay right beside you. The real ones. Your REAL Friends.

 I've been so nice to her. I'm one of her REAL friend, She can attest to that. But she ruined our friendship. We can still be friends, I know. But it's going to be different. She can still trust me. That's for sure. But I don't know if I can still share everything to her. There's no TRUST issues here, but the moment she turned the tables around, It's not the same anymore. It's not the same.

Still, I'm not going to confront her. I'm not going to ask her. What I want is for her to realize everything. It takes two people to tango. You cannot do it alone. Same thing in friendship. You need to be a friend, in order for you to have a friend. It's not going to be one-sided all the time. :)

- Ann Gelli :)

Hey. I deserve an explanation.

SOMEDAY..... (MAYBE Someday)

*cto

http://lovequotesrus.tumblr.com/image/57680073306

Someday, I'm going to meet this person. Someone who makes me feel special.

 Someone who makes me happy. Someone who will appreciate my whole being.

Someone who can stand with all my dramas in life. Someone who likes to talk about our dreams and the most random shits in the world. Someone whom I can ask anything under the sun. Someone who writes me love letter. Someone who let me rest my head in his chest. Someone who will act goofy and crazy with me.

Someone who will stay beside me when everyone else doesn't want to be with me. Someone who wouldn't mind if my face is oily and awful and ugly, and still fall in love with me all over again.

 Someone who will say: 

 "You're beautiful, even without make up, or even without trying to look good. You're beautiful".

Someday, I'm going to find someone who will love me forever. 

Someone who can be my best friend.  Someone who will listen to my stories. 

Someone who makes my heart skip a beat every time he looks at me, every time he smiles at me. 

Someone who will sing a song for me instead of buying flowers.

Someone who teases me when I do something stupid, and yet still manage to cheer me up.

 Someone who will try to laugh at my jokes even when they don't make any sense at all.

Someone who will listen to my kind of music. 

Someone who will love me for who I am, regardless of my imperfections.  

Someday, I'm going to meet someone who will make me realize why it never worked out with anyone else.

Someday, I'm going to meet someone who's going to change everything.

Someone who's going to love me as much as I did. Someone whose biggest fear is losing me.

I'm gonna meet him someday. 

And I'm going to fight for him, and laugh with him, and do totally absurd and crazy things with him. And we're going to face life together, we will cry together, but we're going to be happy with each other, together, and forever we're going to love each other. 

______________________________________________________________

Someday, I'm going to meet Mr. Impossible.

It may sound cliche, but yes. 

I'm going to wait for that special one. 

at the right place, at the right time. :)

- Ann Gelli :)