Things are getting more complicated. And it's true, real life is nothing like fairy tales. This world is so cold....& CRUEL. It's like I've got all the shits in the world.
They say, "overthinking ruins you, ruins the situation, turns things around, makes you worry, & just makes things worse than they actually are". But you know, it's so hard not to think about all those bad stuffs around you, specially if people who are important to you are involved. And I can't do anything, aside from thinking and dreaming about ESCAPING. I'm so mad at this world right now. And I've got nobody to talk to, coz it feels like all the people around me doesn't care at all. I'm not sure if it was me who gives wrong signals, making people think that I'm totally okay, where in reality....my life is a mess, & I just wanted to curl up in a ball and cry. Or maybe they're also too busy with their own goddamn life, dealing with their own goddamn problems. Or maybe.... they just don't care at all.
It's that kind of pain that nobody can fix.
It's like a hole in your heart that will be forever empty. And everyday, I'm trying to hide it. EVERY SECOND OF EVERYDAY I'M TRYING SO HARD TO BE OKAY, and it kills me. My smiles aren't fake (atleast not all of those smiles). It's just that... I'M NOT OKAY. I am really not okay but I keep on trying to be okay because I need to be okay. :(
Sadness and misery are much more frequent in my life right now than those of happines
I feel invisible and worthless. Like misery is an old friend. But I still hope that all these horrible things will bring me something amazing soon.
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