Thanks for dropping by !

His eyes. His lips. His smile. His face. 

His silly jokes, to his wise words full of wisdom. 

The way he looks, the way he looks at me. The way he talks, the way he talks to me. Just like that, my heart started pounding really fast, and my face started to glow. And I know I'm crazy because I barely know him, so I don't know. What the hell. Actually, I'm not attracted to him the first day we met. Maybe it had something to do with his awful short and brown sweatshirt which is kinda big for him. Next thing I know, I kept on looking at him and waiting for him all day to talk to me. It's weird but, in my head I've had this image of the guy I want to be with, then, the next day, he totally evolved to that kind of guy, my kind of guy. And we started to talk and laugh like there's no tomorrow. We had some serious conversation about his life, so I got to know him more. Maybe I like him, but I don't want these feelings to grow because I forgot to mention, he has a girlfriend. end of story. k. bye. 

But I'm glad we became friends :)

Helo ? I exist.

It sucks when people forget about you when you don't contact them. It sucks when people clearly doesn't  care enough to make some effort. It's sad to say that, the older we get, the more we grow apart. Yeah, I'm pissed. I'm sad.  But anyway, life is too short to be anything but happy.
I'm not sure if it's something like "drifting apart", but hold up, because the monsters in my head are finally taking over.

To whoever wrote this poem, I feel you.

Want to know the truth?
We are the fading ink on
Old, yellowing, wrinkled paper.
The empty pen that needs to be disposed.
We are the morning breeze;
Cool and refreshing,
Only to get a taste of the scorching sun
And become warm.
Our reality only exists because of
A few powerful, unforgettable memories.
And I have come to learn that
Sometimes we just need the flame
To flicker one last time and finally die down.
Because we are tired of the heat that burns us
Every time we cup our hands to preserve it.
And like a light bulb on the verge of becoming useless
Fighting in those last moments
For a little more time
We know in the end another will take its place
That bulb, tossed away
Will be the only proof of our existence.
I had hoped our bonds would be
Eternal and forever lasting;
Strong against the hurricanes
Threatening to destroy us
And the envious looks that
Silently jinx our very structure.
But I think they’ve succeeded
And we’ve started disintegrating
From the inside.
Cracks in the foundation became visible to all,
But we are blind.
Small arguments became full blown fights
And silence became
Our companion on those rough nights.
Our hearts ached for each other’s company,
But our egos stood in the way.
Here, I thought we could withstand
The broad chested wolf with burning lungs,
ready to exhale his destructive breath upon us.
Build a house of bricks that
Stood strong against every blow.
Only our house, I found, consisted of straw.
And we were vulnerable from the start.
Dear Friend, we lost.

- Ann Gelli

For the LAST time

So I decided to stay out of hell for this semester, I mean, school, since I have one free semester before my graduation. (Yeah. MY GRADUATION. HAHA.) although  that's so so so  far pa, one more year. lol. But it's amazing how time flies so fast :) Last time I remember, I am so depressed on how things turned out for me, and now it's a bit different.

But anyway that's not the topic that i want to spit out here. It's...... It's..... It's about... someone... -__- someone who means a lot to me, since my day 1 at college. Someone who doesn't care. I can still remember the last time I saw him, maybe that was the LAST. :) because he's already graduating this march, sooooo, have a nice life. You probably won't read this, but I wish you well :) btw, thank you so much for inspiring me to go to school every single dayyyy ! :p And this song is for you. hehe . because it's going to be the last time that I will write something about you. (yeah. promise.) You know, the 'art of letting go'.

We were never the marrying type, oh no,

We won't buy dishes or stained glass lights, oh no,

For a table we'll never sit at,

In the house that we won't ever get,

I won't wake up and pick out your tie, oh no,

You won't come home and kiss me at night, oh no,

We won't lie in this king bed for two,

Say goodbye to us saying "I dos,"

No more white picket fences,

No more lace veils or vows,

No more "You're the only one" 'cause that's all done with now,

This is the last love song I'll ever write for you,

This is the last love song I'll ever write for you,

Take these roses and this Jameson, oh no,

Find a subway that I can sit in, oh no,

Buy a one-way out of this city,

Everything that I need, got it with me,

No more white picket fences,

No more lace veils or vows,

No more "You're the only one" 'cause that's all done with now,

This is the last love song I'll ever write for you,

This is the last love song I'll ever write for you,

All these notes and all these words,

Are all that's left in me,

Bend these pages, count my woes,

One last song to set me free,

No more white picket fences,

No more lace veils or vows,

No more "You're the only one" 'cause that's all done with now,

This is the last love song I'll ever write for you,

This is the last love song I'll ever write for you,

This is the last love song I'll ever write for you,

This is the last love song I'll ever write for you, 

I clearly understand it, that it's a one sided kind of love. You're smiling and laughing, as I admire from the shadows, smiling for your happiness. (Gosh. I didn't realized that I'm dead serious about you.)  Now I see that, some things aren't worth waiting for. So I'm done hoping.... hoping for nothing... hopelessly hoping.  Because I deserve to be happy :) And I'm ready to be.

- Ann Gelli